Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I am a ...

I'm a Bella! I found out through TwilightersAnonymous.com. Which Twilight Female Are You? Take the quiz and find out!
Take the Quiz and Share Your Results!

I guess I am a Bella. Makes sense I suppose. Check it out at Twilighters Anonymous.

OK I have a ... small obsession ...

... OK so it may be a big obsession ... FINE it's HUGE ... HUGE I tell you!!! LOL I love chickens. Real and fake and all over my walls! HE HE HE



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And I do have some real ones.
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But they keep running away every time I try to take their pictures. LOL

Friday, January 23, 2009

The Great 2009 Declutter Project!

So my new years resolution for 2009 was to clean and declutter my home. We have a few generations worth of junk laying around and it is time for it to GO! We started cleaning and throwing stuff out Wednesday night. I worked again today and the hubby and I might do more tonight. Not much of a date night but oh well. So here are some pictures of our progress. I will not be showing before pictures. They are sad ... very very sad ... but you can see how the rooms look as go threw them and clean.


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Finally a place to do homework and plan meals for the family!

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The dog kennels are gone and we can see the TV again!


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Looooook .... we have chairs you can actually sit in again!


More pictures to come as the progress continues. Hopefully it will be done soon. It would be nice to have the space and comfort to have people over again.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I must be crazy ... but my head feels good.

So I was having a really rough time with my hair being so long and ratty and snarly and damaged. So I thought it would be a good idea to get a hair cut. Yaaaaa ... maybe not so short next time I am thinking. UGH! Why do I do this to myself. I had a great haircut about a year ago. It was short but not to short.
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In the last year my hair has grown really really long. This is me before my haircut.
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But when I miscarried last January out of grief I died my hair black. And it refused to come out. So on top of being damaged by the hair dye I had a 2 toned head. So I decided it was best to cut as much of the black and damaged hair out. I just didn't think it would be this much.
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Yep that's me now ...
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... it's all gone. *sigh* Why do I do this to myself? Now I feel like a boy!

Is that what you are wearing?

I know I know. It is none of my buisness. And I know I can't dress any better. But I would assume if you can afford fancy schmancy desingers and people to "dress" you then you would be well dressed. There is always the bad days were you just totally miss the boat. But if your husband is on the verge of becoming the President of the United States then maybe you should get your shit together and plan carefully! I am sure a lot of thought went into the outfits and I am sure the designers are so proud. Ok I know they are cause I saw them on the Today show this morning. And I would also assume that she was comfortable.

But I have to admit I did not like her clothes yesterday! She got out of the car and headed up to the church and the first words out of my mouth were "Is that what you are wearing?" I was pretty much just talking to the dogs as I am sure Michelle can not read my mind. Your dress should probably not match the dizzying yellow of the church. It is bad when the reporters have trouble commenting on the color of your dress and the church matching with out bursting into laughter. I also think the texture of your jacket should not match the texture of your grandmother's mustard yellow curtains. But then that is just me

But I had high hopes for her ballgown. It could easily be amazing and I was sure she would look beautiful. OY was I wrong. It looked like some one had taken a white dress and super glued pieces toilet paper to it. It reminded me of the toilet paper veil that was made for me to wear during my bachelorette party a few years ago. She could have looked so amazing it brought tears to your eyes. So sad that didn't happen.

Oh well. I cut all my hair off like an idiot yesterday. So I guess it was just a bad fashion day in general. *shrugs* Hair grows back and by now I am sure she has changed her clothes.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Brrrrrrr!!!

I can't take the cold anymore! AHHHH! I have had enough! Make it go away! Below zero is one thing. But 50 below zero is just to much! I dang near froze my face off walking to class yesterday. The boy had Thursday and Friday off due to the dangerously cold temps. I of course still have to go to class and work. Brrrrrrr! Is it friggin spring yet?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Proud Mama Hen


Bryan took a placement test at the end of last year. I had not heard anything about it so I figured he placed in the average range and thought nothing more of it. On Thursday I got a letter in the mail saying he scored high enough to be eligible for the highly gifted program!!! So I talked to Bryan and made sure it was something he actually wanted to do. It would mean going to a different middle school then he was scheduled to go to. Bryan was SOOOO excited when he heard he made it in! So I went down to the middle school today and filled out all the paperwork for him. I don't know if I have to wait for an acceptance letter or if it is just a done deal. Not sure how that works. But I am so proud of him and he is so excited! I am a little sad that I am old enough to have a child going into middle school. HA HA HA But I am so happy he is doing very well. It is something that those of us who have spent any time being a single mom worry about. It is so hard to raise a child alone and you wonder if you are doing right by them. I must have done something right for the first 2 years and a lot right in the last 8 years! WOOHOO!!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Angel Baby

Today is our 1 year angel anniversary. January 13, 2008 I miscarried our sweet angel baby. I can not believe it has been a year already. It went by so quickly. I have healed a lot over the last year. Things are getting easier everyday. It does not seem humanly possible when you are in the throws of grief. But time does heal all wounds. Corny ... I know ... but like I have said before life is corny most of the time.

I have been pretty OK most of the day. I started to get a little sad this morning. But I told myself to suck it up. I had my first day of class for the spring semester today and I had to work tonight. So I just did not have time to be sad this morning. I made myself focus on what needed to be done. I worked with 2 coworkers that I enjoy so that made it easier. It was one coworkers last day. So I just tried to focus on having a good night for him and not make it all about me. Hard to do when you are grieving.

Then we were watching the episode of Scrubs when Carla has her baby. It was a funny episode and I was enjoying it. Then they got to the end when Turk brings out the baby and the tears welled up. I couldn't help but think about how that should have been us in August. I thought about how my hubby would have been that proud and excited. How we should be holding and enjoying our child in our arms not just our hearts. I some how managed to pull myself together. I texted the hubby and told him I was sad but very happy that I still had him and my son. I just wish I could have been home with him instead of at work. I think I pulled it together before my coworkers noticed but I am not sure.

I probably should sit down and allow myself to cry now. Who knows ... it might feel good. That's what nice hot showers are good for right? Maybe I will fill the tub with pretty bath salts or bubbles and just let it flow. Take the time to grieve today for our angel baby. We miss you angel and wish every single day that you were still with us. I am gonna go light my candle for our angel now.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Why ... I mean seriously ... why?

What is wrong with my child's school? It is snowing outside right now like CRAZY. Every other school in the area, both in our town and around our town, has closed for the day. Has my son's school closed early today? Nooooooo ... of course not. Why would they want the kids to be safe right? So he is not getting out of school early even though it is obvious to the rest of the state that it is time to send the kiddlets home. The boy doesn't get home until almost 5pm lately anyway. I guess the hubby shouldn't be to worried until about ... oh 6pm? LOL

I have seen lots and lots of programs cancel for the day too. Every other program planned for the evening that is for the disabled has canceled classes. But the one I have to go to tonight, the one I hate with a passion, it of course has not put out any message about being canceled. Well guess what? I am SOOOO not going! There is NO way I am going to load the residents up in that van, in the cold and risk having a car accident in the 2-4 inches of snow we are suppose to get tonight just because you are being dumb like the boys school. Forget it! Not gonna ruin my driving record. Not gonna risk injuring residents or staff. Not gonna ruin a perfectly good, and I am sure expensive, handicap van. Forget it!

Tomorrow we are suppose to have a blizzard warning all day. So maybe I will get to at least spend the first half of the day curled up in bed and crying. I am gonna guess I will not have my first day of class. Sucktackular to the teacher I am sure. But if it snows like it is suppose to snow all day today and all night tonight I am thinking it would not be wise to even have the college open. But we will see tomorrow. My school tends to be just as dumb as my son's school. UGH!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Gettin to old for this ...

I am getting to old for this shit. It is a phrase I say about every 3 months or so. The hubby and I, faced with a child free evening, stock up on a few good bottles of wine. Or cheap wine that was on sale like we did Friday night. Then we drink ourselves silly and rattle the walls a little bit. But every once in a while I drink waaaaaaaaaay to much and end up sick as a dog. I did it ... again ... on Friday night. I just had WAY to much wine and now I feel like shit. I spent all night at work nursing a headache and a pissed off belly. My stomach still isn't quit right. I am tired but can't sleep for poo. Hence the reason I am writing this blog at 4:30 in the morning. UGH! I can't believe I still feel like crap. I can't believe I drank that much. I am old enough to know better. And definatly to old for this drinkin till I puke shit. Ok I didn't puke but GOD did I feel like it all night and day and night and now and BLAH! I just wanna feel better! I swear I have learned my lesson this time! LOL

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Proud Mama Hen

I am a proud mama hen! I got a letter in the mail today. It said that my son has met the criteria for the highly gifted program at the middle school he will be attending next year! HOLY COW! How did this kid get so smart? And why is he so book smart but can't remember to throw his poptart wrapper in the garbage every morning? How ever he does remember to put the toilet seat down. So he is one up on the hubby in that department. Anyway I am SOOOO very proud of him. He has been in an advanced reading class since the first grade. So I suppose this shouldn't be TO big of a surprise. But still I am impressed that he is doing so well. My chest swells with pride! I better be careful though ... wouldn't wanna poke anyone's eye out with the ladies. he he he WOOHOO!!!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Marley rocks!

The hubby and I went to see Marley & Me last night. The boy had gone with my mom on Christmas day to see it. Lucky little bugger. So the hubby and I made it part of our date night last night. It was a really great movie. Even better then I expected it to be. Of course the ending was sad and I cried. But it was the middle that hit they hubby and I the hardest I think. Well it did for me anyway.

There is a scene where she is pregnant for the first time and they go in to the doctor for her first appointment. The tech does an ultrasound to see the baby and makes a strange face. I instantly thought to myself, "Oh shit ... I have seen that face before ... oh no ... I know what is about to happen." Sure enough the doctor comes in and looks for the baby but finds no heartbeat. My heart sank and I tried desperately not to start sobbing. The hubby must have felt me starting to tremble cause he took my hand in his and held it tightly. It was like some kind of horrid flash back. I felt like I was there again. For anyone who does not know our story, we pretty much had the exact same thing happen a year ago. I went in for my first appointment. Everything seemed fine and dandy. The doctor did an ultrasound and there just was no heartbeat. Our dream crumbled in a matter of seconds. The hubby tried to stay optimistic but I knew we were screwed. It was over before it barely began.

I am sure everyone else thought that saddest part was when Marley died. But that was easier to deal with then the miscarriage scene. Sorry if I gave away the ending. Like you didn't know he was going to die at the end anyway. LOL