7 years ago today my high school sweetheart passed away. I hate to admit that I actually forgot what today was. Then I saw a post from a high school friend. It was like being kicked in the gut. My breath was literally taken away. How could I forget? I feel awful. His death was one of the hardest moments of my life. I had never lost anyone important before. I didn't know how to handle it. I am still not sure I do.
The hardest thing for me and what makes me the saddest is not what I am missing but what he is missing. We had dreams. A house, marriage and children. I have all those things. I love where I live. I love where I raise my family. I have a husband who I love more then words. Who makes me happy and who is making all of my dreams come true. I have two handsome boys who mean everything to me. I hold my baby in my arms and feel the amazing joy of being a parent. I guess I still feel guilty that I have everything that he should have had the opportunity to have. I get to live and love and be happy. All things that I wanted for him but he can't have. I guess it is the guilt that makes me sad on this day every year.
I take comfort in the fact that he is no longer suffering. He is in heaven with God. What could be better then that? I know that he is always with those of us who cared for him. I remember that every time it rains. I know that when we all are done here and make our way back home he will be there waiting for each one of us.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
One seriously nasty sinus infection
Well I guess I have one seriously nasty sinus infection. Wednesday night I felt kinda crummy at work. I had a sore throat and a runny nose. No big deal.
I woke up Thursday morning and my throat felt much better but my left sinus hurt. I was tired and feeling a little crummy Thursday after supper so I laid down for a nap. When I woke up 2 hours later my sinus hurt more and had started to swell a little bit. Pretty normal symptoms for me when I get a sinus infection. I decided to put going to the doctor off until Friday after Ethan got home from work. I figured either it would get better because it was not a sinus infection and I wouldn't need to go in. Or it would get worse and I would have a leg to stand on about the pain and swelling so they wouldn't send me home or something.
Friday morning I woke up and could tell my face was more swollen. When I tried to look down while changing Wyatt's diaper I could see more of my cheek then I could of Wyatt. LOL I went to the bathroom to look in the mirror and was shocked at what I saw. My entire left cheek was swollen, red and warm to the touch. It looked like some one had clocked me right up side my face. I did my best to bring the swelling down on my own during the day. I tried acetaminophen, ibuprofen, an antihistamine, a cold pack, a warm pack, every thing I could think of. But the swelling just got worse as the day went on. So when Ethan got home from work I decided to go to one of the Fastcare clinics to have it checked out.
The nurse walked me back and we sat down so she could talk to me. She almost fell out of her seat. There was an instant look of concern that was mildly unnerving to be honest. She asked me a bunch of questions and then had me get on the table to examine me. The whole time she kept going back and forth on whether she should give me something or just send me straight tot he ER. She palpated my cheeks (OUCH!) and looked inside my mouth and checked my eyes. The nurse decided that I had a sinus infection that had abscessed into my left cheek. She said thankfully it had abscessed forward into my cheek and not backward into ... well my brain. *shiver* She said the main reason the treat sinus infections is because they can turn into brain abscesses and a brain abscess if bad enough can lead to brain damage. Now she almost had to pick me up off the floor. I just thought I had a nasty sinus infection. No big deal. I had no idea how serious it really could be. Scary stuff!
The nurse gave me a very strong antibiotic. Thankfully it is safe to take while breastfeeding so I won't have to supplement with formula at all and I won't have to pump and dump. She instructed me to take 800mg of ibuprofen along with the antibiotic twice a day for 10 days. The swelling should go down in 24 hours after the first pill. She said I should be feeling much better by Sunday. If the swelling does not go down, if it gets worse, if I have any eye pain, if I have an vision disturbance, if Ethan notices my pupil dilating and not reacting to light or if I become more fatigued and Ethan can't get me out of bed then I need to immediately go to the ER. She said I have a very serious infection and she is very concerned about it getting worse. Brain damage is nothing to take lightly. I obviously agreed with her on that one.
Hopefully the antibiotic will help, the swelling will go down and I will feel better soon. I really had no idea how dangerous a sinus infection could be. Why doesn't any one ever tell you this? I would have gone in much earlier today if I had known that. I am sure every thing will be fine. Fingers crossed that every thing is better soon.
I woke up Thursday morning and my throat felt much better but my left sinus hurt. I was tired and feeling a little crummy Thursday after supper so I laid down for a nap. When I woke up 2 hours later my sinus hurt more and had started to swell a little bit. Pretty normal symptoms for me when I get a sinus infection. I decided to put going to the doctor off until Friday after Ethan got home from work. I figured either it would get better because it was not a sinus infection and I wouldn't need to go in. Or it would get worse and I would have a leg to stand on about the pain and swelling so they wouldn't send me home or something.
Friday morning I woke up and could tell my face was more swollen. When I tried to look down while changing Wyatt's diaper I could see more of my cheek then I could of Wyatt. LOL I went to the bathroom to look in the mirror and was shocked at what I saw. My entire left cheek was swollen, red and warm to the touch. It looked like some one had clocked me right up side my face. I did my best to bring the swelling down on my own during the day. I tried acetaminophen, ibuprofen, an antihistamine, a cold pack, a warm pack, every thing I could think of. But the swelling just got worse as the day went on. So when Ethan got home from work I decided to go to one of the Fastcare clinics to have it checked out.
The nurse walked me back and we sat down so she could talk to me. She almost fell out of her seat. There was an instant look of concern that was mildly unnerving to be honest. She asked me a bunch of questions and then had me get on the table to examine me. The whole time she kept going back and forth on whether she should give me something or just send me straight tot he ER. She palpated my cheeks (OUCH!) and looked inside my mouth and checked my eyes. The nurse decided that I had a sinus infection that had abscessed into my left cheek. She said thankfully it had abscessed forward into my cheek and not backward into ... well my brain. *shiver* She said the main reason the treat sinus infections is because they can turn into brain abscesses and a brain abscess if bad enough can lead to brain damage. Now she almost had to pick me up off the floor. I just thought I had a nasty sinus infection. No big deal. I had no idea how serious it really could be. Scary stuff!
The nurse gave me a very strong antibiotic. Thankfully it is safe to take while breastfeeding so I won't have to supplement with formula at all and I won't have to pump and dump. She instructed me to take 800mg of ibuprofen along with the antibiotic twice a day for 10 days. The swelling should go down in 24 hours after the first pill. She said I should be feeling much better by Sunday. If the swelling does not go down, if it gets worse, if I have any eye pain, if I have an vision disturbance, if Ethan notices my pupil dilating and not reacting to light or if I become more fatigued and Ethan can't get me out of bed then I need to immediately go to the ER. She said I have a very serious infection and she is very concerned about it getting worse. Brain damage is nothing to take lightly. I obviously agreed with her on that one.
Hopefully the antibiotic will help, the swelling will go down and I will feel better soon. I really had no idea how dangerous a sinus infection could be. Why doesn't any one ever tell you this? I would have gone in much earlier today if I had known that. I am sure every thing will be fine. Fingers crossed that every thing is better soon.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
You know there is a side door right?
Yesterday I opened the outside door to the chicken coop for the birds. It has been closed all winter because of the weather. It has been bitter cold and very snowy. So we have kept the outside door closed and opened the side door instead. It is inside the barn so there is less of a draft but they still have access to get in and out. The outside door to the whole barn has a split level door. We keep the top part open so the birds and cats can get in and out as needed.
So I open the door yesterday and the ducks come RUNNING outside. It was as if they had been locked up all winter long. Like they had been prisoners of the barn. FREE FREE WE ARE FREE! HA HA HA They ran around and around gobbling up water from any and every puddle they could find. They were slipping and sliding due to the ice that was still in some places. It was funny to watch. I love watching the ducks. They put on a very interesting show.
Then it dawned on me maybe they didn't know the side door was open. I don't think I ever saw them leave the coop during the winter. They are interesting but not always the smartest birds in the coop. So maybe they actually thought they were trapped inside. LOL Pretty birds ... such pretty birds ... not exactly smart but pretty! Now go make me babies!
So I open the door yesterday and the ducks come RUNNING outside. It was as if they had been locked up all winter long. Like they had been prisoners of the barn. FREE FREE WE ARE FREE! HA HA HA They ran around and around gobbling up water from any and every puddle they could find. They were slipping and sliding due to the ice that was still in some places. It was funny to watch. I love watching the ducks. They put on a very interesting show.
Then it dawned on me maybe they didn't know the side door was open. I don't think I ever saw them leave the coop during the winter. They are interesting but not always the smartest birds in the coop. So maybe they actually thought they were trapped inside. LOL Pretty birds ... such pretty birds ... not exactly smart but pretty! Now go make me babies!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Is it spring yet?
I am getting antsy. I am sick of winter. It is cold and snowy and full of ice. YUCK! I want so badly to get back out into the garden. My first year was interesting. Not as successful as I would have liked it to be. But we live and we learn. I know what things I want to grow again this year. And what things I want to avoid. I have also learned that spacing the growth of the veggies is important. I don't mean space so much as I mean time. It would be super easy to just toss some seed at the ground and wait for it to grow. But that means I have nothing all spring and far to much to eat before it goes bad in the fall.
SPRING:
FALL:
It was sad to see a lot of my harvest go to waste. How ever the ducks and chickens ate well.
Also spring brings babies!!!
This little one will have to wait until summer though. The bun needs to stay in the oven until he/she is done baking.
Thankfully it will be early summer though. I look forward to having my June Jitter Bug outside with me while I play in the dirt.
SPRING:
FALL:
It was sad to see a lot of my harvest go to waste. How ever the ducks and chickens ate well.
Also spring brings babies!!!
This little one will have to wait until summer though. The bun needs to stay in the oven until he/she is done baking.
Thankfully it will be early summer though. I look forward to having my June Jitter Bug outside with me while I play in the dirt.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
2 year angel anniversary
Wednesday January 13 is our 2 year angel anniversary. We lost our baby at 8 weeks. We still miss our angel every single day. But we are so very thankful that God has given us a second opportunity at a healthy baby. We are so very blessed.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Hello Stranger
I have a new little buddy. I discovered him this morning. It is frigid cold here. It's noon and the high so far has been 5 degrees out. Last night it was -17 below! Sometimes I hate winter. I dream of a time when we can afford a winter home in Las Vegas. But for now we live with the crazy cold.
I got up early this morning to do chores. I needed to do a head count. And with the boy gone for the last week it has been up to me to cover his chores. So I dug up something for the cats to eat. We ran out of cat food and I have been working the last few days. And with the holiday stores were closed. So the cats had to eat dog food today. I will let you know if they start barking or lifting their legs to pee. The cats got dog food and the birds got corn. I made sure the heated water dishes were filled with liquid and not solid chunks of ice. I had decided to hook up the old heating lamp. I usually only use it for the new babies in the spring to keep them warm until they are bigger and the weather is warmer. But it is again frigid cold and it looks like it will be that way for at least another week. So I shut the outside barn door to help keep the heat in and the wind out but still left the inside bar door open so they could come and go as needed. The chickens like to get out and wander around. The opposite of the ducks to would stay super glued to the inside of the chicken coop until it got warm enough to rain again. So every thing was shut up and I turned on the heating lamp. And it started smoking. UGH! So I unplugged the stupid thing and scraped the dried on chicken poop and hay off the hood. I plugged it back in and turned it back on. Thankfully this time it did not smoke. I feel much better now. I know that they are all still safe and made it through the night ... and at least semi warm.
I left the chicken coop through the inside barn door. I heard a ruffling coming from the rafters above my head. The chickens had high tailed it into the barn when I went into the chicken coop. I looked up half expecting one of my perdy reds to be hanging out up there. But when I looked up I didn't see anything. Just as I gave up and started to walk away I heard a VERY loud and boisterous crow. I looked up again and this time I saw this little guy ...
Where in the heck did he come from?! I have Barred Rock hens that are either completely black or striped black and white. I have some random roosters that were here when I moved in a decade ago. OK they are actually the decedents of the big dog daddy that ruled the farm when I moved in. But they look very much like their father. Last spring I got 6 Rhode Island Reds. They are very large and a deep beautiful rust color. They are gorgeous and I love them. I am thinkng of getting more in the spring. So this tiny little grey silky looking guy was a surprise. I know that I have never raised any man so tiny and so darn cute! He was tiny but he had a crow on him that put the rest of the roosters to shame! LOL
He is probably one of the neighbors roosters. We live close enough to our neighbors that we tend to interchange animals here and there. I hate guineas but some how those loud annoying buggers always end up in front of my window during the summer. We often get cats that are not ours hanging around my little ladies. That is how we ended up with Hunter Jr. So I am sure this little fellow wandered to far from the flock and ended up in our chicken coop last night. At least the big reds didn't tear him up for being in their house. But then with that crow I don't think I would mess with him either. Us little guys/girls are scrappy!!!
I got up early this morning to do chores. I needed to do a head count. And with the boy gone for the last week it has been up to me to cover his chores. So I dug up something for the cats to eat. We ran out of cat food and I have been working the last few days. And with the holiday stores were closed. So the cats had to eat dog food today. I will let you know if they start barking or lifting their legs to pee. The cats got dog food and the birds got corn. I made sure the heated water dishes were filled with liquid and not solid chunks of ice. I had decided to hook up the old heating lamp. I usually only use it for the new babies in the spring to keep them warm until they are bigger and the weather is warmer. But it is again frigid cold and it looks like it will be that way for at least another week. So I shut the outside barn door to help keep the heat in and the wind out but still left the inside bar door open so they could come and go as needed. The chickens like to get out and wander around. The opposite of the ducks to would stay super glued to the inside of the chicken coop until it got warm enough to rain again. So every thing was shut up and I turned on the heating lamp. And it started smoking. UGH! So I unplugged the stupid thing and scraped the dried on chicken poop and hay off the hood. I plugged it back in and turned it back on. Thankfully this time it did not smoke. I feel much better now. I know that they are all still safe and made it through the night ... and at least semi warm.
I left the chicken coop through the inside barn door. I heard a ruffling coming from the rafters above my head. The chickens had high tailed it into the barn when I went into the chicken coop. I looked up half expecting one of my perdy reds to be hanging out up there. But when I looked up I didn't see anything. Just as I gave up and started to walk away I heard a VERY loud and boisterous crow. I looked up again and this time I saw this little guy ...
Where in the heck did he come from?! I have Barred Rock hens that are either completely black or striped black and white. I have some random roosters that were here when I moved in a decade ago. OK they are actually the decedents of the big dog daddy that ruled the farm when I moved in. But they look very much like their father. Last spring I got 6 Rhode Island Reds. They are very large and a deep beautiful rust color. They are gorgeous and I love them. I am thinkng of getting more in the spring. So this tiny little grey silky looking guy was a surprise. I know that I have never raised any man so tiny and so darn cute! He was tiny but he had a crow on him that put the rest of the roosters to shame! LOL
He is probably one of the neighbors roosters. We live close enough to our neighbors that we tend to interchange animals here and there. I hate guineas but some how those loud annoying buggers always end up in front of my window during the summer. We often get cats that are not ours hanging around my little ladies. That is how we ended up with Hunter Jr. So I am sure this little fellow wandered to far from the flock and ended up in our chicken coop last night. At least the big reds didn't tear him up for being in their house. But then with that crow I don't think I would mess with him either. Us little guys/girls are scrappy!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)