Bubble Bubble Gurggle Gurggle

I feel the clomid monster bubbling underneath the surface. HA HA HA I woke up this morning with big swollen boobies. Are headaches a side effect? I have had a headache since yesterday afternoon. Kinda sucks. I got a message from a coworker this morning. It sounded a little snotty to me but it may be the clomid talking. I did my darn best not to snip back. But I could feel the crabby in me starting to bubble and fizzle and want to strike out. I managed to keep it in control. My last round of clomid I had an all out brawl on facebook with my little sister. It was nasty but at least for the first time since she was born I was honest with her and told her I was sick of her bull poopy. So it was good and bad. I may need to stay away from the computer this time. HA HA HA OUCH! Laughing makes my boobs hurt!

I was right!

AF showed while I was at work! WOOT WOOT! Ya I know it is weird to hear me woohooing over getting my period. But like I said it means I get to start a fresh round of Clomid. And after my "spring cleaning" we have a real chance at making a baby this cycle. Hopefully a healthy happy full term baby. I try not to think about the heartbreak of miscarriage during all this fertility treatment stuff. I just think it would be to much. To scary. It is always with me. But I am trying not to focus on it to much.
ANYWAY I discovered that I could reorder the Clomid online. So I ordered it and will pick it up from Walmart on Wednesday. Then Thursday LOOK OUT! HERE WE GO AGAIN! Last time I took this med it lead to an all out Facebook brawl. I might kinda sorta need to stay away from all that this time around. But that is kind of hard to do with my fancy shmacny new Blackberry. Oh well! LOL
So fingers crossed that every thing goes smoothly this cycle and the "spring cleaning" + fertility drugs = me all good and knocked up!

Here she blows?!?!?!?!

I believe that AF is on her way. WOOHOO! Of course it would have been nice to just POOF and get pregnant right after the surgery. But getting my period means I can start a fresh round of Clomid and hopefully be one step closer to a healthy baby. The doc did her spring cleaning of my insides. Now maybe with a good strong menstrual cycle I will get another good spring cleaning of my lining and hormones and such.

I am cramping pretty bad and started spotting. No actual flow yet but I am sure I am working on it. I am fabulous at getting my period in the middle of work ... and math class for some reason. LOL So I will know in a few hours if I am on to a new cycle. This will be my first natural period since April. I forced a period a few months back. I was unaware of the large cyst holding things up and causing me to not get my period. But it still has been almost 2 months since I have had any bleeding at all. And 4 months since I had a natural period. So this is a good thing. Now I will have to make a pit stop on my way to work to pick up the Clomid. Or maybe I can wait until tomorrow. *shrugs* Either way I will be taking the Clomid again by Thursday! WOOHOO!!!

I guess they were telling the truth.

Several people told me that almost exactly a week after surgery they felt better. It was just like POOF and they felt normal. After all the fatigue and nausea and pain I didn't think it was possible. How could I feel better in just a week? When I woke up Monday morning I was sure they were liars. I felt horrid! I was tired and my poor tummy was in so much pain I wanted to cry. I took some Advil and did my best to drag through the day. Ethan insisted on McDonald's and insisted even more that I go pick it up. I was on my way home when it happened. I started dancing and singing along to the song on my stereo. By the time I got home I was grooving pretty hard to the music. Ethan laughed hysterically at me as I danced around the kitchen singing Guns N Roses Sweet Child O Mine. He said "Well you MUST be feeling better!" There it was. POOF and I felt better. I didn't even notice that it had happened until Ethan said it out loud. I felt better. I wasn't uber tired and I wasn't in pain. I felt pretty dang good. It's crazy how that happens! I am still a tiny bit sore in the belly button area. And I do still get tired more easily then what is normal for me. But for the most part I feel pretty normal. I am still on lifting restrictions until the end of the month. But at least now I don't fear picking things up. I even feel a hair weird standing around at work while others lift things ... and people ... for me. Anyway I guess they were telling the truth. And boy howdy am I glad they were!

What ... what is this ???

Well well what is this??? I haven't seen one of these little buggers in about 3 months. I was not overly surprised to see it today. Considering the ridiculous amount of EWCM I have been having lately. But it has been a long bumpy road lately and I was beginning to think I would never see another second line again. Let alone one so nice and dark. Welcome back my +OPK little friend. I have missed you. Now let's go catch that little eggie!

Fabulous side effect

It just dawned on me today that my headaches are gone! Holy crap! I had been having a LOT of headaches lately. I assumed it was the elevated levels of estrogen from the larger cyst that was causing them. I have awful headaches when ever I am pregnant. So it would make sense to have headaches from the cyst. DING DING DING! I have not had a headache in days. I have been wonderfully brain pain free. I guess my theory was right. How wonderful it is to not hurt ... in my head anyway. My belly button ... now well that is still a very different story.

Crap

Crap ... I can't poop. Yes the ugly side of surgery and infertility talk has reared it's ugly head. I am constipated. The nurse said this would probably happen. Between the surgery and the Vicodin I was likely to become constipated. She said if I did not have a bowl movement in a couple of days I could start a fiber supplement. I have not pooped since some time on Sunday. Thankfully I have some in the cupboard. So a little tang and benefiber drink for breakfast it is! Hopefully that will get things moving smoothly. And easily cause the thought of pushing scares the shit out of me ... not literally or I wouldn't be writing this post right now. HA HA HA

Surgery Update

I had surgery on Monday. I am home now and trying to get as much rest as possible. Which is pretty easy considering the Vicodin makes me pretty darn sleepy. The hard part is getting myself up to use the bathroom and forcing myself to eat and drink. My throat hurts and I have no appetite at all. But I have been trying my best to get a little something into me when I take the Vicodin so I don't get sick and puke the meds back up. That would be a sad day. OK so here is how everything happened.

I checked into the clinic at 6am Monday morning. They took me up to a room and I got changed. The nurse came in and asked me hundreds of questions and took all of my vital signs before sending me to pre-op. Where they did everything the first nurse did all over again. HA HA HA At least they are consistent.

The anesthesiologists came and talked to me about what was going to happen and then got me hooked up to an IV. She poked both hands before getting it into my left hand. That hurt so bad. She couldn't numb my hands first because it would make my veins even more difficult to find and she had to poke around to get it in right. So that really stunk.

I was first in line so they rolled me into the operating room and got me all set up. I remember looking at the ceiling and it started to ... vibrate ... that's the best word I have for it. Then I fell asleep.

Next thing I remember was being in recovery moaning and groaning because I was in pain and I felt like puking. They gave me 2 different drugs but I still threw up. Well dry heaved since I didn't have anything in my stomach. It was weird to be aware of my surroundings but not having the energy to even open my eyes. An alarm kept going off saying my oxygen level was getting low. I just kept staring at the blinking orange lights thinking WTH? I am awake and breathing so why is my O2 at 75??? I spent a lot of time in recovery before they sent me back to my room.

I got back to my room around noon. They monitored my O2 level every half hour and as long as it stayed in the 90s range they turned the oxygen down and finally off. I was still very nauseous and couldn't eat so that I could take the pain med. So they gave me a third medicine and that finally worked. But it made me very sleepy which made it difficult to do anything but sleep. I managed to get down some jello and a pepsi before falling asleep. I snoozed off and on until they moved me to another floor around 2pm. I was able to get up and pee finally. The nurse took me for a little stroll around the floor to prove I could walk before going home. I got a little to excited to be out of bed and moving and almost tripped over my own feet. We both laughed and he reminded me to SLOW DOWN. It was not a race around the desk and falling was not going to get me out of there any faster. LOL We went back to my room and my mom and I WAITED FOREVER for a dr to come in and tell me about the surgery and give me the ok to go home. I finally buzzed the nurse and told them I wanted to go home NOW. I didn't care who came in to talk to me.

My dr was still busy but her colleague who was also in the operating room during my surgery came to talk to me. I had never met him before ... at least not to my knowledge anyway .... but he was very nice. He said I had trouble breathing during the surgery and had to be nebbed. I was given an inhaler to use if I needed it at home. He gave me copies of the pictures they took during surgery. I got to see my ovaries and the cysts and my uterus. I thought that was super cool. He said they were able to get both of the cysts out with no damage to the ovary. He showed me the picture of my left normal sized ovary and then the right ovary with the cysts. It was like a top view looking down and it was crazy how much bigger the right ovary looked with those cysts attached. No wonder I had been feeling bloated and achy on that side. He said the cysts had made my right ovary the same size as my uterus!!! CRAZY! There was an adhesion from my c-section. They took care of that while they were in there.

He said my uterus is heart shaped. There are 2 lobes on the top of my uterus. The right lobe is fine but the left lobe is underdeveloped. Which explains why Bryan was stuck in the right side and was breech and was unable to get turned head down. He says it will have no effect on me getting pregnant. My tubes are clear and functioning. Everything looks "hooked up" properly. I find it funny that a doctor said "hooked up" too. LOL Anyway he said a pregnancy will never be able to develop in the left lobe. So when ever I am pregnant they baby will always lean to my right lobe where there is room to grow. If the baby is head down by the time they get "stuck" on the right side then I will be able to try for a VBAC. How ever if another baby gets stuck head up like Bryan did I will have to have a c-section again. There is no way the baby can be turned around with out rupturing my uterus and I am not willing to try and deliver breech and they don't want me to either.

So nothing to weird. I don't have an extra uterus or cervix in there. A little deformed but I will still be able to carry another child to term no problem. Everything has been cleared out and cleaned up. So the next round of Clomid should be a lot more successful then this last one. LOL I go back in 4 weeks for a check up to make sure I have healed well and everything is back on track. The nurse told me nothing in the vagina for 48 hours. I told her the way I was feeling unfortunately for my husband that will NOT be a problem. The nurse and my mother both laughed pretty hard. LOL

I can shower later today if I want be I am holding off until tomorrow. I am to sleepy to stay awake long enough to get a good shower in right now. LOL My throat is killing me! It is swollen and sore and I swear it still tastes like plastic in my mouth! Stupid breathing tube! LOL My entire body aches. I am surprised by that. I can't believe how sore and stiff EVERYTHING is. It's Bryan's birthday and I feel bad he has to help take care of his mommy. But he doesn't seem to mind. I told him we could order some pizza and have birthday cake but I don't feel up to going anywhere. He was happy as long as he could have pizza. HA HA HA I am glad he is so easy to please. OK I am exhausted and the vicodin is kicking in again. So I am going to go prop myself up with pillows and go back to sleep. Thanks to every one for all the well wishes. I appreciate them a lot.