Have you ever seen that blinkie? I have seen it under infertility blinkie searches and on some of the message boards. Now it feels so much more real. We know that Ethan is ok. Morphology was a hair low. But when you have billions and billions of little spermies swimming around in there it just really doesn't matter. SO the problem is me. I am broken. Fertile mertile has dried up. The girl who once lost her virginity and got knocked up in the same breath can seem to get a baby in the belly to save her life. Go ahead ... dip me in sperm from head to toe ... it won't help if the dang egg takes until Christmas to come out! And then when she finally makes her "fashionabley late" entrance she is as roughed up as a $10 hooker! OY! I have no problem saying "we" are infertile. I have trouble saying "I" am infertile. Cause BAM the blame goes straight to me. It's my fault he is not a daddy yet. He thought he had a sure thing but that went straight to hell some where down the last 10 year road. So I am broken ... it hurts ... and it hurts even more to say out loud. But I am working on it. Time to own up and be an adult. Somebody get my big girl panties out!
1 comment:
{{{AMY}}} Big hugs.
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