Just wait until you are a teen

They say the best pay back is to do to your kids, when they are teens, the same things they did to you as small children. I decided it would be a good idea to keep a list to remind myself in 10-12 years of what each kid gets. Because payback sucks. Bah ha ha ha

Wyatt has a knack for waking us in the middle of the night ... screaming ... from his bedroom ... upstairs. It's such a lovely way to wake up. It's never anything horribly important. He's not scared and didn't have a bad dream. He is just to lazy to pull the blanket up on his own. Or he wants a drink. Or he had a dream about the wind blower (manure spreader) that he needs to share with someone NOW! So this is my plan.

1. I am going to sneak upstairs at 3 am. I am going to stand next to his bed and scream at the top of my lungs "I WANT CHOCOLATE MILK!"

2. I will save the baby monitors we have and hide one under his bed. Again sometime around 3 am I will turn that bad boy on and yell into the baby monitor "WYATT WHERE IS MY BLANKET?! CAN YOU COME COVER ME UP?!"

3. This again requires me to sneak into his bedroom in the middle of the night and stand next to him. I will get close to his face and whisper "Wyatt? Wyatt are you awake?" over and over again until he does in fact wake up. Once he wakes and darn near craps himself I will inform him that I need to pee.

4. Any time I am eating something crumbly like biscuits I will randomly walk up to Adelia and sneeze. Then I will innocently walk away as if I didn't just cover her in wet mommy snot.

5. I will randomly stand in front of the TV during video game play. Waiting of course until they are fully engrossed in a boss show down so intense I risk having to replace the couch cushion. Because they are totally gonna crap themselves when I wander past.

6. I am going to open doors, cabinets, the dishwasher or maybe the fridge. Then I am going to stand next to the open door screaming for someone else to come close it for me.

7. Any and all bathroom breaks run the risk of me standing outside the door yelling "What are you doing in there?" or "Are you pooping?" or "Did you pee in the potty? Big girls pee in the potty right?"

8. All naps will be interrupted by me standing over them crumpling a pack of fruit snacks and yelling "I CAN'T GET THEM OPEN!"

9. I have just three words. RANDOM WET SPOTS. Walking through their bedrooms will be like walking through a mine field of delights. Wet squishy delights.

10. I am going to hide every remote they hold dear to them. TV ... radio ... Xbox ... doesn't matter what it controls. I am going to hide it in the most random spots and watch them squirm. How much you wanna bet they just give up and watch/listen to what is on instead of actually finding the remote?

They are still young so I am sure I will have plenty to add to the list by the time Wyatt, Adelia and Annalise are Bryan's age. But until then I wait and plot and mwuah ha ha ha!