Going crazy already!!!

I just barely ovulated and I am already going crazy!!! I want to know! I want to test! Which is just plain old silly. It is far to early to test. But OMG I want to know NOW! I want to know if there is an itty bitty baby in there floating around and heading down my tubes into warm uterus land. UGH! I can barely stand it! How am I going to make it through the next 2 weeks??? It seems impossible!!! There is the part of me that says "RELAX! You have taken the Clomid and there is no dang good reason you are not pregnant. Heck you could even be pregnant with twins!" But then of course there is the part of me who is realistic based on the last 3 years off TTC that says "Who the hell are you kidding??? It hasn't happened before. Why would it happen now? You had one chance and you some how blew it! Bitch please! You are NOT going to have a baby this cycle or any cycle for that matter dumb ass!" I try to listen to the first voice. LOL *sigh* OK I will just be over here in the corner just going slowly crazy. Don't mind me.

Good and Bad Day

I am going to start with the good news because it is great. And the bad news is just a pain in my rear. LOL

So the good news is I am ovulating! Not only am I ovulating but I am doing it at a halfway decent time in my cycle! I am on CD 16 today. My average day of ovulation with out the Clomid was CD 24. So that is an improvement and it means the Clomid is doing what my RE wanted it to do. Hopefully that will improve the quality of my egg and get me good and knocked up. It was so nice this morning to see the +OPK and peak reading on my FM. WOOHOO! I do not work tonight so I even have time for nooky with the hubby! SWEET! Fingers crossed! My CM is a little dryer then normal. But the EWCM is still there. Just not in as vast quantities as in the past. I took some tussin to try and help with that for later tonight. he he he

The bad news is my back is KILLING ME! I woke up and my lower back was so stiff and so sore I could barely move. I am suppose to be in psychology class right now but I can't move. OK I can move but it is at a snails pace and with lots of swearing and heavy breathing. LOL I have no idea what I did. My back felt fine at 6am right before Ethan got up for work. Sometime between 6:30 - 8:30am when I got up for class my back went crazy on me! I took a hot shower/bath and that helped a little bit. I took some Advil and am sitting in the chair playing on the computer now. If it doesn't start feeling better soon I might just go lay back down in bed. I hate missing class but I knew I could not make it in today. I am so glad I don't work. It kind of puts a crimp in my grocery shopping day. But maybe I will feel better later. I am almost tempted to call my aunt and see if she has an opening for a massage today. But then I hate to bug her because she does daycare too. *sigh* I have no idea what I did but I hope I feel better soon. I have so much junk to get done today.

Bubble Bubble Gurggle Gurggle

I feel the clomid monster bubbling underneath the surface. HA HA HA I woke up this morning with big swollen boobies. Are headaches a side effect? I have had a headache since yesterday afternoon. Kinda sucks. I got a message from a coworker this morning. It sounded a little snotty to me but it may be the clomid talking. I did my darn best not to snip back. But I could feel the crabby in me starting to bubble and fizzle and want to strike out. I managed to keep it in control. My last round of clomid I had an all out brawl on facebook with my little sister. It was nasty but at least for the first time since she was born I was honest with her and told her I was sick of her bull poopy. So it was good and bad. I may need to stay away from the computer this time. HA HA HA OUCH! Laughing makes my boobs hurt!

I was right!

AF showed while I was at work! WOOT WOOT! Ya I know it is weird to hear me woohooing over getting my period. But like I said it means I get to start a fresh round of Clomid. And after my "spring cleaning" we have a real chance at making a baby this cycle. Hopefully a healthy happy full term baby. I try not to think about the heartbreak of miscarriage during all this fertility treatment stuff. I just think it would be to much. To scary. It is always with me. But I am trying not to focus on it to much.
ANYWAY I discovered that I could reorder the Clomid online. So I ordered it and will pick it up from Walmart on Wednesday. Then Thursday LOOK OUT! HERE WE GO AGAIN! Last time I took this med it lead to an all out Facebook brawl. I might kinda sorta need to stay away from all that this time around. But that is kind of hard to do with my fancy shmacny new Blackberry. Oh well! LOL
So fingers crossed that every thing goes smoothly this cycle and the "spring cleaning" + fertility drugs = me all good and knocked up!

Here she blows?!?!?!?!

I believe that AF is on her way. WOOHOO! Of course it would have been nice to just POOF and get pregnant right after the surgery. But getting my period means I can start a fresh round of Clomid and hopefully be one step closer to a healthy baby. The doc did her spring cleaning of my insides. Now maybe with a good strong menstrual cycle I will get another good spring cleaning of my lining and hormones and such.

I am cramping pretty bad and started spotting. No actual flow yet but I am sure I am working on it. I am fabulous at getting my period in the middle of work ... and math class for some reason. LOL So I will know in a few hours if I am on to a new cycle. This will be my first natural period since April. I forced a period a few months back. I was unaware of the large cyst holding things up and causing me to not get my period. But it still has been almost 2 months since I have had any bleeding at all. And 4 months since I had a natural period. So this is a good thing. Now I will have to make a pit stop on my way to work to pick up the Clomid. Or maybe I can wait until tomorrow. *shrugs* Either way I will be taking the Clomid again by Thursday! WOOHOO!!!

I guess they were telling the truth.

Several people told me that almost exactly a week after surgery they felt better. It was just like POOF and they felt normal. After all the fatigue and nausea and pain I didn't think it was possible. How could I feel better in just a week? When I woke up Monday morning I was sure they were liars. I felt horrid! I was tired and my poor tummy was in so much pain I wanted to cry. I took some Advil and did my best to drag through the day. Ethan insisted on McDonald's and insisted even more that I go pick it up. I was on my way home when it happened. I started dancing and singing along to the song on my stereo. By the time I got home I was grooving pretty hard to the music. Ethan laughed hysterically at me as I danced around the kitchen singing Guns N Roses Sweet Child O Mine. He said "Well you MUST be feeling better!" There it was. POOF and I felt better. I didn't even notice that it had happened until Ethan said it out loud. I felt better. I wasn't uber tired and I wasn't in pain. I felt pretty dang good. It's crazy how that happens! I am still a tiny bit sore in the belly button area. And I do still get tired more easily then what is normal for me. But for the most part I feel pretty normal. I am still on lifting restrictions until the end of the month. But at least now I don't fear picking things up. I even feel a hair weird standing around at work while others lift things ... and people ... for me. Anyway I guess they were telling the truth. And boy howdy am I glad they were!

What ... what is this ???

Well well what is this??? I haven't seen one of these little buggers in about 3 months. I was not overly surprised to see it today. Considering the ridiculous amount of EWCM I have been having lately. But it has been a long bumpy road lately and I was beginning to think I would never see another second line again. Let alone one so nice and dark. Welcome back my +OPK little friend. I have missed you. Now let's go catch that little eggie!