Day time showers are overrated

I actually took a shower in the day time today. Wyatt and Adelia sat in the bathroom with me discussing important life issues like how Wyatt needs to wash his toy truck and how Adelia can't fly. Even though I turned a cartoon on for them to watch while mommy washed her hair. Annalise would have joined us but she actually slept in. I of course spent 75% of my shower checking the baby monitor to make sure she was still breathing because none of my children ever sleep in. I was a fool to think day time showering was a good idea. I think I'll just stick to before bed showers where the only interruption is some one occasionally needing to pee.

I don't need company while pooping.

Please excuse my vent but I just want to poop alone. I don't want to speed poop because the baby is suddenly unhappy on the play mat the second my toosh hit the toilet. I don't want to receive or hold all the tiny rubber duckies the toddler is handing me. I really don't want to play guessing games with the preschooler who was out side helping grandpa until he heard the click of the door lock from 3 miles away. And I swear if one more kid wrinkles their nose at the smell I will climb on the roof and build an adults only blanket fort. Feel free to join me up there but don't forget the wine and snacks.

I lost an amazing woman.

I lost an amazing woman recently. My grandmother ... my everything passed away a week ago. This has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. I am still reeling from the loss of my mother in-law just 3 months ago. I am the mother to three kids under the age of 4 AND I have a teenager. I am still postpartum so hormones are flopping around and my hair is starting to fall out. Those are just a handful of the things going on and stressing me out. Then the whole world falls apart and my grandmother dies. What a cruel joke. What a rotten time. As one friend put it "it is hard when you barely have a chance to catch your breath between losses."

The good news is I saw her slipping away and I took action. My husband pushed for me to not let this opportunity get away. I took my kids and my husband to the nursing home to say goodbye. I took pictures of everything including her sleeping. I talked to her and saw her smile. I sat quietly by her beside and was just there in the moment with her. Sure I wish I had prayed with her while I held her hand. I wish I could have told her I loved her one more time. But for the most part I am at peace with my time spent with her before she went back home.

Still it is sad and still I feel lost with out her here. I cherish everything I have from her. The physical trinkets. The heart warming memories. The life altering morales. The pictures that seemed silly in the moment but mean everything to me now. All I can do is trudge forth and hope that I am making her proud. I miss you grandma. I can still feel your hand in mine. I hope that memory never fades.

I wanna be a kid again

When I was sick as a kid my mom would make me stay in bed all day. She'd tell me to read a book and sleep. I hated it. If I was lucky I could convince her to let me lay on the couch so I could watch TV. Now I am sick as an adult and I would kill for someone to send me to my room. How awesome would it be to spend the day laying in bed reading a book only getting up to eat and pee?!?! As an adult I have a TV in my room so I don't even have to move to the couch. Chromecast makes it almost completely unnecessary to interact with the outside world. Except for the three out of four kids in the living room who require food and milk and diaper changes. Party poopers!

This is why ... Just ... Nooooo

This is why I don't want to return to work on Tuesday. I am sick and I feel like crap. Oh well suck it up Sally and of course I do. I'm a mom. Do I really have any other option? However Adelia is sick. She has been up all night with no signs of slowing down. I have hugged her, kissed her, loved her, and given her the recommended dose of pain reliever in an attempt to keep her as comfortable as possible. And yet sleep evades her and so it does me. Thankfully Annalise is sleeping well and has only been up once. Thankfully Bryan is home on spring break so I have a chance at a nap. To bad the bug guy is coming early tomorrow morning to kill off the wasps that have appeared two seconds after spring tried to come. So tired ...

Just wait until you are a teen

They say the best pay back is to do to your kids, when they are teens, the same things they did to you as small children. I decided it would be a good idea to keep a list to remind myself in 10-12 years of what each kid gets. Because payback sucks. Bah ha ha ha

Wyatt has a knack for waking us in the middle of the night ... screaming ... from his bedroom ... upstairs. It's such a lovely way to wake up. It's never anything horribly important. He's not scared and didn't have a bad dream. He is just to lazy to pull the blanket up on his own. Or he wants a drink. Or he had a dream about the wind blower (manure spreader) that he needs to share with someone NOW! So this is my plan.

1. I am going to sneak upstairs at 3 am. I am going to stand next to his bed and scream at the top of my lungs "I WANT CHOCOLATE MILK!"

2. I will save the baby monitors we have and hide one under his bed. Again sometime around 3 am I will turn that bad boy on and yell into the baby monitor "WYATT WHERE IS MY BLANKET?! CAN YOU COME COVER ME UP?!"

3. This again requires me to sneak into his bedroom in the middle of the night and stand next to him. I will get close to his face and whisper "Wyatt? Wyatt are you awake?" over and over again until he does in fact wake up. Once he wakes and darn near craps himself I will inform him that I need to pee.

4. Any time I am eating something crumbly like biscuits I will randomly walk up to Adelia and sneeze. Then I will innocently walk away as if I didn't just cover her in wet mommy snot.

5. I will randomly stand in front of the TV during video game play. Waiting of course until they are fully engrossed in a boss show down so intense I risk having to replace the couch cushion. Because they are totally gonna crap themselves when I wander past.

6. I am going to open doors, cabinets, the dishwasher or maybe the fridge. Then I am going to stand next to the open door screaming for someone else to come close it for me.

7. Any and all bathroom breaks run the risk of me standing outside the door yelling "What are you doing in there?" or "Are you pooping?" or "Did you pee in the potty? Big girls pee in the potty right?"

8. All naps will be interrupted by me standing over them crumpling a pack of fruit snacks and yelling "I CAN'T GET THEM OPEN!"

9. I have just three words. RANDOM WET SPOTS. Walking through their bedrooms will be like walking through a mine field of delights. Wet squishy delights.

10. I am going to hide every remote they hold dear to them. TV ... radio ... Xbox ... doesn't matter what it controls. I am going to hide it in the most random spots and watch them squirm. How much you wanna bet they just give up and watch/listen to what is on instead of actually finding the remote?

They are still young so I am sure I will have plenty to add to the list by the time Wyatt, Adelia and Annalise are Bryan's age. But until then I wait and plot and mwuah ha ha ha!

Come and sit and chat with me.

Grab a cup of coffee ... or Redbull as it seems to be these days ... let's sit and get caught up.

Ethan and I are still married. Yeah buddy! It will be 8 years this summer and 13 years total together last month. The road has been rocky some years and smooth as glass other years. Life with four kids means you have to work extra hard to make it work but it is as always totally worth it. Even if my partner in crime is a bit pinchy and leaves Pepsi cans on the side table.

Bryan will be 16 this summer. Holy crap! He has his permit and is allowed to drive with a licensed adult. Bryan gets straight A's in school and with the exception of this year rarely misses a day. (This year has been full of births, deaths and snow days) He is still addicted to World of Warcraft. Which is fine with us so long as his grades stay up and his chores get done. Bryan is a pretty awesome big brother and has been a huge help during all the chaos of the last year.

Wyatt is my almost 4 year old wild man. Just ... just ... just so wild. It doesn't help that it has been a horrible winter and he has been cooped up for months. Wyatt is smart as a whip and made of pure muscle. He is a farm kid to the core. Wyatt wants to be no place else but outside doing chores with daddy and grandpa. He has a fever disorder called PFAPA and as I write this he sits next to me feeling a hair to warm again. Wyatt will spike a fever for no apparent reason every 2-4 weeks. As soon as he hits 102 degrees we have a medication to give him that smacks his immune system back into reality and It calms down again. Wyatt is fatigued but 95% better in 2-3 hours with medication instead of the 4-5 days with out medication. He should grow out of it by the time he enters school. Fingers crossed or this could mean a lot of missed school days. He is a good kid with a ridiculous amount of energy. If I had half of it this house would be spotless at all times.

Adelia my beautiful little princess celebrated her first birthday in January ... by becoming a big sister. Ya more on that later. Adelia is a spit fire and I love it! She is really starting to show this amazingly strong and sassy spirit that would make her grandmother so proud of her. She is already barreling across the room at top speed. The very recent backwards walking is cool. However the side walking is rather creepy. It doesn't help that she stares silently into your soul as she does it. Adelia is starting to talk and actually ask for things. Mama, dada, grandpa, and even the dogs (Coco and Bobo) are being called by their proper name. She just started saying baba when she wants milk and she is sooooooo close to saying Anna when talking about her sister. Sadly Bryan and Wyatt just get pointed at. Although I think she called Bryan bubba the other day. But then again she may just have been asking for her milk.

Annalise my amazingly full head of hair from the get go little lady. She ... well ...  Annalise was a surprise bonus baby. We celebrated Adelia turning 4 months old by going to Shopko to pick up several pregnancies tests. Because there is no way in hell I could be pregnant again. I mean I am still pumping. I am on the birth control pill. I JUST went back to work. This test must be broken. HA! My "I'm just gonna take a test to make me feel better" test turned positive before I even set it down on the bathroom counter. Not gonna lie. Back to back pregnancies is not easy. I spent the first four months terrified that my far to fresh c-section scar was going to bust open any second. Then the last four months ready for this baby to come out because who wants to be pregnant or nursing for two years straight! Yes I know that is only eight months but all four of my babies came out at 37 weeks. So month nine never lasted more then a week for me ever. The good news is despite blood pressure issues again (Adelia's birth was a semi emergency c- section due to high blood pressure) Annalise's birth went well and my recovery was cake. Annalise has had a few issues out of the gate. She has a mild hearing loss in her left ear. We are still testing to see if that hearing loss is temporary or permanent. Either way her right ear is perfect so she still hears well. Which is almost a  disadvantage considering how loud her father and siblings are. Annalise had a positive test on her newborn screening. If you know Wyatt's story with the new born screening you know that that phone call from the hospital almost made me vomit. When the nurse announced that the positive test was for hypothyroidism I laughed. I went from head in my hands trying not to puke to laughing out loud. Is that all? I have that. No big deal! It was a little bit of a big deal when it came time to draw blood from my newborn. It took MANY blood draws to get what they needed. They are starting to joke about how many of the tiny rubber ducks they hand out to the kids they poke she will have by her first birthday. Thankfully it seems like we have the right dosage of synthroid for her but it still might need a few tweaks as time goes on. Annalise will have her blood drawn every three months until she is three years old. Then they will take her off the synthroid and see what happens. If her thyroid takes over on it's own then she can stay off the medication and need fewer checks on her TSH. If not then back on the medication she goes for most likely the rest of her life. Either way we have a simple solution that is working well for us. Annalise is  beautiful and starting to smile and coo like a pro. Now if i could only get her to sleep at night.

Then there is me. I am still home on maternity leave. My second unpaid leave in one year. There is no way I can go back to work five days a week like I was. What the heck am I going to do with three kids under the age of 4 five days a week? So I have some negotiating to do with work and some researching on how to make money at home. Looks like I will be back to eBay. Which is fine considering the amount of baby stuff we will be getting rid of as Annalise out grows it. In the men time I am going to keep vlogging in YouTube and blogging here. Maybe I have a book in me. We will just have to see what happens.

Are you out of coffee? No problem. I got a Costco sized box of k-cups downstairs and my keurig is fired up and ready to pour.

Back in the saddle ... or at least that is my hope.

It's been a few years since I have blogged. I admit I have been doing more vlogging then anything else lately. I have established what I consider a pretty decent channel on Youtube. You can see it right ......................
here https://www.youtube.com/user/Amy3Lynn3

I have been vlogging on all things TTC, infertility, pregnancy and parenting. I have a couple of pretty good videos on exclusively pumping.
The original video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJXDGg8LonI&feature=share

and here is the updated 2014 version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAlZd5A-hkg&feature=share&list=UUkb4CjUcvpEAqlPe7ILjLIw

As much as I love vlogging it requires me to comb my hair, put on some makeup and the most important part put on a bra. Who wants to wear a bra when they don't have to? Pants aren't my favorite either. So I thought what the heck. I might as well get back into it here. I can write and share like I used to. I loved doing that and I can do it sans bra with no one ever knowing. Though I am pretty sure from now on you guys are going to be assuming I don't have a bra on when reading this ... or possibly pants. You are welcome for that image. HA!

Not yet a go

1 ... 2 ... wait ... what ... I haven't made it to 3 yet ... I didn't even get to say go!?!?!


As usual life got in the way and I didn't get started on my FlyLady project. In my defense it was the baby and not my laziness. The baby is teething ... again. And when he teethes it is brutal! He seems to be doing better this morning. Now if only he would let me look inside his mouth to see if those darn canine teeth finally broke through. Or if I should just keep a steady stream of ibuprofen in him. LOL

Tomorrow I am off to my new job for my first day on the floor. So I guess we will see how much I can get done before it is time to head to work. Unless the baby is not well again. Then I will spend the morning in the chair being drooled on ... again.

Gonna try to fly!

I am going to try to fly again. No I don't mean in a plane or anything. Do you have any idea how long it took me to get up the nerve to drive a car?!

I am going to try the FlyLady plan ... again. I started it once a very long time ago. I did well for a couple of weeks. I don't really remember why it fell apart and I stopped doing it. But I am on it again. I have the book on my Kindle. (My new favorite way to read) For those of you who don't know what I am talking about I will clue you in a little bit. Because I only remember a little bit. LOL

Basically my house is out of control and we need to get organized and clean. It is hard to do with a very high energy almost toddler crawling around and getting into EVERYTHING! Plus with all my former work drama I just have not had the time, energy, interest or mental stamina to get anything done around here.

So we are now living in what the FlyLady calls CHAOS. Which means "Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome". Live there? I am the queen of there! And with a little Mr. somebody closing in on his first birthday I can't even begin to think about having people here for his party. Not that I have his party planned yet. Because I have no idea what weekend I am working!

So anyway I am at it again. I am hoping it will help get us organized, the house clean, a better level of baby-proofing and the opportunity to have friends and family over when ever we want. With out scrambling to pick the dirty underwear off the bathroom floor before some one has to pee. Plus it is just nice to sleep in a sweet smelling house with out fear of tripping over a toy that will kill you on your way to a midnight tinkle.


If you are interested in learning how to fly here is a link to the website.
http://www.flylady.net/

I also recommend her book Sink Reflections. It is a great resource when you need to make a quick check to make sure you are on goal and you don't want to boot up the computer. You can get both a hard copy or ebook style. Like I said I am enjoying mine on my Kindle.

Moving on up!

At least I hope I moved up in the world. LOL Yesterday was my last day at the job I held for 8 years. It was a good job .... once upon a time. I used to love what I did. But situations change. Good staff leave. Crappy staff show up and DON'T LEAVE. You but heads with your boss. The perks that used to make the job worth doing have been taken away. It's not because I didn't love the actual job. I just couldn't stay where I wasn't happy. I don't want clean house. I don't want to wash dishes. I don't want to wash clothes. If they aren't in my house from my family I don't want to clean up the messes. I want to take care of people. So it was time to move on.

I thought I would feel more last night. Some intense feeling of sadness or joy. But I didn't really feel anything. I don't know if it has not hit me yet. Or maybe because I have had one foot out the door since my maternity leave it just doesn't upset me like I thought it would. I am still on call and can work when ever I want. So I am not totally gone. I just kind of feel meh.

I am nervous for the new job. Mostly because it is new and change is hard. I worry I won't like it or won't be good at it. I am sure these are feelings we all go through when starting a new job. It just has been so long since I had a new job I don't remember anymore! LOL So hopefully this will be a positive change.

Dental Anxiety

I made it through another dentist appointment. I have had a lot lately. I have crappy teeth. Today they finished up the root canal that was started 2 weeks ago. The tooth has been filled now and eventually I will need a crown. But for now it is good to go.

I don't usually have problems with anxiety when it comes to the dentist. Unless you count the anxiety that comes with paying the bill! LOL But the last couple of things I have had done have required a lot of Novocaine to thoroughly numb me up to do the work that I needed. The only pain I feel is those stupid needles and a mild soreness in my jaw when all is said and done.

The hard part for me has been the numbness. This would be why I used to have my fillings done with out Novocaine. My tongue and pretty much the entire side of my mouth goes numb. Which is good of course. But I start to have problems with swallowing. I can swallow but it feels like I can't move my tongue, lips and cheek. Sometimes it feels like my tongue falls back and I can't pull it forward to either swallow or to breath. I know logically that I am fine. But I start to panic. The longer it takes for me to move my tongue the more I panic. Then of course it takes me a bit to get myself settled back down.

Anxiety is hard enough to deal with in private. But it is insane when you have two people hovering over you with their fingers in your mouth. Part of me wants to sit up and hyperventilate a bit. But most of me just wants to hang on and get through it. Because if I ask them to stop I have two problems. First of all I have to try and explain to them that I am not in pain but am instead having a panic attack. And second it would just make things take that much longer to finish up so I can get out of there.

So I did my best to suck it up and get through. I focused on the writing on the center piece of the light above me. I did my deep breathing. Which was difficult at one point when the rubber thingy got pushed to high and covered my nose just has I was breathing in. I repeated to myself over and over again in my head that I was fine. I could breath. I could swallow. I just needed to stay calm. My jaw did not hurt from going ahhhhhhhhhhhh for what felt like forever. (Yeah right! It was totally killing me!) It only took an hour to do the work. My dentist admitted that it was more difficult than he had thought it would be. (It is difficult to push away the panic when you can see your dentist shaking his head as he works.) But I got through it.

I am home now. The baby is sleeping. The numbness has worn off. I think I can finally have some lunch. WOOT WOOT! I am starving. And I am happy to be able to say I conquered yet another anxiety threat and avoided a full on panic attack. I still struggle from time to time but I have the tools and I am getting better. And I have been able to do it with out medication which means a lot to me. I am happy for that.

So who is right?

I have been struggling ... a lot lately with some people. I will not name any names. One I don't want to get myself in any trouble. Two I don't want to offend or upset anyone. Three I know that I am not always right and not every one shares my views. But I just feel like I have to put it out there.

I have been noticing more and more people around me having a "holier than thou" attitude. They believe that either their way of thinking or just themselves in general are some how better then anyone else. I am right and you are wrong. It's my way or the highway. Believe what I believe or be condemned. Because I say so, the book I read says so, the "expert" I talked to says so or what ever their reasoning is. They feel the need to not only say they are "right" but to then shove it down your throat. And if you don't agree with them they then pull out some sort of guilt trip fitting to the particular situation. The most annoying part is you can not reason with them. They are right because they say they are. They are unwilling to admit that maybe ... just maybe ... despite everything they have been told maybe they are wrong.

Now I have no problem with people feeling strongly about what they believe in. That is what makes us unique. That is what drives us to not only just get by but to do better for ourselves, our family and our community. But people need to get a grip. Believe what ever it is that rings true in your heart and in your soul. Be strong in it and be happy. But remember that not every one has chosen the same path in work, religion, parenting, marriage and every other aspect of life. There is no right or wrong. Do not judge. Do not bully. Do not act as if you know best. Do not put down others who do not share your view.

Be supportive. Be nonjudgmental. Be open to discussion. Be open to being wrong. But most importantly be respectful. Everybody deserves love and respect no matter how much you disagree with them. And if some one does or says something nice for you don't point out what you believe to be their flaws! That is not a thank you!

I know that I am not always right. I am willing to admit that no matter how strong I am in my beliefs I might be wrong. I might not be doing the right thing. But I am honest in my own truth. I am happy with the choices I have made. I am secure in my faith. I love my family above all others. And those things make me happy.

Crotcheting fool!

I recently taught myself to crotchet. I am not great at it. Basically if it is flat I can make it. A lot of blankets in my future! So far I made scarves for my mother and my mother in law for Christmas. A blue one for my mom. A purple one for my mother in law. I forgot to take pictures of them before wrapping them up. So I have no pics to show of my hard work. Sad day.

I was attempting to make baby gifts for a few coworkers who are due in like a couple of weeks. But I got caught up in making the scarves. Then my attempt at making a little lovey some how turned into a ball. Don't ask me how. I have no idea. But once it got into a half ball shape I just went with it. I have stuffing left over from when I made Miss Norma her high school pillows. So I stuffed my creation. And now Wyatt has a small fluffy ball to play with. Oooops!

I made myself a cell phone pouch. Miss Norma saw it and like it so I made her one too. It is red, white and blue. Because when you are talking about the two of us what other colors are there? I put a little button on hers. A design flaw of my own pouch. One I will have to figure out some how.

I had left over pink yarn from the pouch. Not enough to make a scarf. To much to just let sitting around. So I made myself a head band/ ear warmer type thingy. It is super warm and I actually look forward to getting to wear it. God knows it will be cold enough this week. -20 degrees below zero. UGH!

I am back to working on Wyatt's blanket which was one of my first things I started to make. And when I am done with that I will get started on the red, white and blue blanket I am making for the living room. I am excited! I have no idea when I will have time to do other crafts like making the curtains for the bathroom. Or finishing the scrapbooks. Wyatt is getting old fast and I am having trouble keeping up.

Why do people always end up hovering over my should when I write? Go finish your chores Bryan!

Anyway back to pumping and creating things for myself and my loved ones!

3 year angel anniversary

Today is our 3 year angel anniversary. I can not believe it has already been 3 years since I miscarried. It is one of those things that seems like it happened just yesterday and an entire life time ago all at the same time. We had tried so hard for 2 years to get pregnant. We were so happy and excited to finally be having our first child together. We had shared the wonderful news with all of our family and friends.

But shortly after sharing the news cramping and spotting began. The doctor told me to lay down, rest and drink lots of water. Hoping that was all I needed to do to stop what I knew was happening I spent a few days in bed trying to rest. But it did no good. Our baby had no heart beat on the ultrasound. 3 years ago today the contractions started and we lost our child ... our dream ... a member of our family who we already loved more then life itself.

I wish I knew then what I know now. It would not have cut the pain. I lost a child. My baby died and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Nothing makes that better. But at least if I had known 3 years later I would have an amazing baby boy to hold and love I would have had hope. Back then I had very little hope.

Every holiday is at least a little difficult because I know we are missing a family member. I look at Bob and my heart aches for the baby who should be his age. The child who should be a big brother or sister right now. But then I look at my boys and I am grateful. I am grateful that I had the strength to make the choice to keep and raise Bryan. Despite all that has happened I have never for a single second regretted my decision to parent. I am grateful for the gift of experiencing pregnancy, birth and raising a child with my wonderful loving husband. Something I was worried I would never get to experience. I am grateful for this beautiful, high energy and extremely happy baby boy. Wyatt is every thing I dreamed off. He is everything I thought I lost that day. He is my light. He is my hope. He is my joy. I am grateful for my husband and my sons and my sweet angel baby in heaven looking down on us. We love you and we miss you every single day. You are never forgotten angel. Until we meet again we love you.

I want babies!

We have very sadly been dwindling in our animals. All but one cat is gone. Poor little Grill Daddy is all alone out there. He is sweet and fluffy but he can't make more cats by himself. Something has been eating my chickens again. It leaves nothing but feathers behind. Sets off the traps but doesn't actually get trapped. UGH!

So this spring I am hoping (fingers crossed) that we can have a baby rush. If you have a female cat/kitten that needs a good home I have a barn aching for furry friends. Grill Daddy needs some one to snuggle with.

I am thinking about putting up a fence again and going hog wild on the chicks. I love the reds that I bought a few years back. They are huge and a beautiful rusty red color. Good hearty birds for the insanely cold winters here. I always suck at picking out the hens though. So we typically end up with 8 billion roosters and 3 hens. So maybe I will just get a couple dozen and hope that this time we get more ladies. But I will not travel down the duck road again. That was just sad. Apparently ducks are very tasty. Grrrrr

So hopefully I will find the time to build a fence and care for chicks this year. I also hope to get back out into the garden. Still not sure I will keep the baby out of trouble while I do all this though. Pretty sure he will be into something he shouldn't be in two seconds flat. He is really good at that.

I can't believe it's been 7 years.

7 years ago today my high school sweetheart passed away. I hate to admit that I actually forgot what today was. Then I saw a post from a high school friend. It was like being kicked in the gut. My breath was literally taken away. How could I forget? I feel awful. His death was one of the hardest moments of my life. I had never lost anyone important before. I didn't know how to handle it. I am still not sure I do.

The hardest thing for me and what makes me the saddest is not what I am missing but what he is missing. We had dreams. A house, marriage and children. I have all those things. I love where I live. I love where I raise my family. I have a husband who I love more then words. Who makes me happy and who is making all of my dreams come true. I have two handsome boys who mean everything to me. I hold my baby in my arms and feel the amazing joy of being a parent. I guess I still feel guilty that I have everything that he should have had the opportunity to have. I get to live and love and be happy. All things that I wanted for him but he can't have. I guess it is the guilt that makes me sad on this day every year.

I take comfort in the fact that he is no longer suffering. He is in heaven with God. What could be better then that? I know that he is always with those of us who cared for him. I remember that every time it rains. I know that when we all are done here and make our way back home he will be there waiting for each one of us.

One seriously nasty sinus infection

Well I guess I have one seriously nasty sinus infection. Wednesday night I felt kinda crummy at work. I had a sore throat and a runny nose. No big deal.

I woke up Thursday morning and my throat felt much better but my left sinus hurt. I was tired and feeling a little crummy Thursday after supper so I laid down for a nap. When I woke up 2 hours later my sinus hurt more and had started to swell a little bit. Pretty normal symptoms for me when I get a sinus infection. I decided to put going to the doctor off until Friday after Ethan got home from work. I figured either it would get better because it was not a sinus infection and I wouldn't need to go in. Or it would get worse and I would have a leg to stand on about the pain and swelling so they wouldn't send me home or something.

Friday morning I woke up and could tell my face was more swollen. When I tried to look down while changing Wyatt's diaper I could see more of my cheek then I could of Wyatt. LOL I went to the bathroom to look in the mirror and was shocked at what I saw. My entire left cheek was swollen, red and warm to the touch. It looked like some one had clocked me right up side my face. I did my best to bring the swelling down on my own during the day. I tried acetaminophen, ibuprofen, an antihistamine, a cold pack, a warm pack, every thing I could think of. But the swelling just got worse as the day went on. So when Ethan got home from work I decided to go to one of the Fastcare clinics to have it checked out.

The nurse walked me back and we sat down so she could talk to me. She almost fell out of her seat. There was an instant look of concern that was mildly unnerving to be honest. She asked me a bunch of questions and then had me get on the table to examine me. The whole time she kept going back and forth on whether she should give me something or just send me straight tot he ER. She palpated my cheeks (OUCH!) and looked inside my mouth and checked my eyes. The nurse decided that I had a sinus infection that had abscessed into my left cheek. She said thankfully it had abscessed forward into my cheek and not backward into ... well my brain. *shiver* She said the main reason the treat sinus infections is because they can turn into brain abscesses and a brain abscess if bad enough can lead to brain damage. Now she almost had to pick me up off the floor. I just thought I had a nasty sinus infection. No big deal. I had no idea how serious it really could be. Scary stuff!

The nurse gave me a very strong antibiotic. Thankfully it is safe to take while breastfeeding so I won't have to supplement with formula at all and I won't have to pump and dump. She instructed me to take 800mg of ibuprofen along with the antibiotic twice a day for 10 days. The swelling should go down in 24 hours after the first pill. She said I should be feeling much better by Sunday. If the swelling does not go down, if it gets worse, if I have any eye pain, if I have an vision disturbance, if Ethan notices my pupil dilating and not reacting to light or if I become more fatigued and Ethan can't get me out of bed then I need to immediately go to the ER. She said I have a very serious infection and she is very concerned about it getting worse. Brain damage is nothing to take lightly. I obviously agreed with her on that one.

Hopefully the antibiotic will help, the swelling will go down and I will feel better soon. I really had no idea how dangerous a sinus infection could be. Why doesn't any one ever tell you this? I would have gone in much earlier today if I had known that. I am sure every thing will be fine. Fingers crossed that every thing is better soon.

You know there is a side door right?

Yesterday I opened the outside door to the chicken coop for the birds. It has been closed all winter because of the weather. It has been bitter cold and very snowy. So we have kept the outside door closed and opened the side door instead. It is inside the barn so there is less of a draft but they still have access to get in and out. The outside door to the whole barn has a split level door. We keep the top part open so the birds and cats can get in and out as needed.

So I open the door yesterday and the ducks come RUNNING outside. It was as if they had been locked up all winter long. Like they had been prisoners of the barn. FREE FREE WE ARE FREE! HA HA HA They ran around and around gobbling up water from any and every puddle they could find. They were slipping and sliding due to the ice that was still in some places. It was funny to watch. I love watching the ducks. They put on a very interesting show.

Then it dawned on me maybe they didn't know the side door was open. I don't think I ever saw them leave the coop during the winter. They are interesting but not always the smartest birds in the coop. So maybe they actually thought they were trapped inside. LOL Pretty birds ... such pretty birds ... not exactly smart but pretty! Now go make me babies!

Is it spring yet?

I am getting antsy. I am sick of winter. It is cold and snowy and full of ice. YUCK! I want so badly to get back out into the garden. My first year was interesting. Not as successful as I would have liked it to be. But we live and we learn. I know what things I want to grow again this year. And what things I want to avoid. I have also learned that spacing the growth of the veggies is important. I don't mean space so much as I mean time. It would be super easy to just toss some seed at the ground and wait for it to grow. But that means I have nothing all spring and far to much to eat before it goes bad in the fall.

SPRING:




FALL:



It was sad to see a lot of my harvest go to waste. How ever the ducks and chickens ate well.



Also spring brings babies!!!




















This little one will have to wait until summer though. The bun needs to stay in the oven until he/she is done baking.




Thankfully it will be early summer though. I look forward to having my June Jitter Bug outside with me while I play in the dirt.