7 years ago today my high school sweetheart passed away. I hate to admit that I actually forgot what today was. Then I saw a post from a high school friend. It was like being kicked in the gut. My breath was literally taken away. How could I forget? I feel awful. His death was one of the hardest moments of my life. I had never lost anyone important before. I didn't know how to handle it. I am still not sure I do.
The hardest thing for me and what makes me the saddest is not what I am missing but what he is missing. We had dreams. A house, marriage and children. I have all those things. I love where I live. I love where I raise my family. I have a husband who I love more then words. Who makes me happy and who is making all of my dreams come true. I have two handsome boys who mean everything to me. I hold my baby in my arms and feel the amazing joy of being a parent. I guess I still feel guilty that I have everything that he should have had the opportunity to have. I get to live and love and be happy. All things that I wanted for him but he can't have. I guess it is the guilt that makes me sad on this day every year.
I take comfort in the fact that he is no longer suffering. He is in heaven with God. What could be better then that? I know that he is always with those of us who cared for him. I remember that every time it rains. I know that when we all are done here and make our way back home he will be there waiting for each one of us.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
One seriously nasty sinus infection
Well I guess I have one seriously nasty sinus infection. Wednesday night I felt kinda crummy at work. I had a sore throat and a runny nose. No big deal.
I woke up Thursday morning and my throat felt much better but my left sinus hurt. I was tired and feeling a little crummy Thursday after supper so I laid down for a nap. When I woke up 2 hours later my sinus hurt more and had started to swell a little bit. Pretty normal symptoms for me when I get a sinus infection. I decided to put going to the doctor off until Friday after Ethan got home from work. I figured either it would get better because it was not a sinus infection and I wouldn't need to go in. Or it would get worse and I would have a leg to stand on about the pain and swelling so they wouldn't send me home or something.
Friday morning I woke up and could tell my face was more swollen. When I tried to look down while changing Wyatt's diaper I could see more of my cheek then I could of Wyatt. LOL I went to the bathroom to look in the mirror and was shocked at what I saw. My entire left cheek was swollen, red and warm to the touch. It looked like some one had clocked me right up side my face. I did my best to bring the swelling down on my own during the day. I tried acetaminophen, ibuprofen, an antihistamine, a cold pack, a warm pack, every thing I could think of. But the swelling just got worse as the day went on. So when Ethan got home from work I decided to go to one of the Fastcare clinics to have it checked out.
The nurse walked me back and we sat down so she could talk to me. She almost fell out of her seat. There was an instant look of concern that was mildly unnerving to be honest. She asked me a bunch of questions and then had me get on the table to examine me. The whole time she kept going back and forth on whether she should give me something or just send me straight tot he ER. She palpated my cheeks (OUCH!) and looked inside my mouth and checked my eyes. The nurse decided that I had a sinus infection that had abscessed into my left cheek. She said thankfully it had abscessed forward into my cheek and not backward into ... well my brain. *shiver* She said the main reason the treat sinus infections is because they can turn into brain abscesses and a brain abscess if bad enough can lead to brain damage. Now she almost had to pick me up off the floor. I just thought I had a nasty sinus infection. No big deal. I had no idea how serious it really could be. Scary stuff!
The nurse gave me a very strong antibiotic. Thankfully it is safe to take while breastfeeding so I won't have to supplement with formula at all and I won't have to pump and dump. She instructed me to take 800mg of ibuprofen along with the antibiotic twice a day for 10 days. The swelling should go down in 24 hours after the first pill. She said I should be feeling much better by Sunday. If the swelling does not go down, if it gets worse, if I have any eye pain, if I have an vision disturbance, if Ethan notices my pupil dilating and not reacting to light or if I become more fatigued and Ethan can't get me out of bed then I need to immediately go to the ER. She said I have a very serious infection and she is very concerned about it getting worse. Brain damage is nothing to take lightly. I obviously agreed with her on that one.
Hopefully the antibiotic will help, the swelling will go down and I will feel better soon. I really had no idea how dangerous a sinus infection could be. Why doesn't any one ever tell you this? I would have gone in much earlier today if I had known that. I am sure every thing will be fine. Fingers crossed that every thing is better soon.
I woke up Thursday morning and my throat felt much better but my left sinus hurt. I was tired and feeling a little crummy Thursday after supper so I laid down for a nap. When I woke up 2 hours later my sinus hurt more and had started to swell a little bit. Pretty normal symptoms for me when I get a sinus infection. I decided to put going to the doctor off until Friday after Ethan got home from work. I figured either it would get better because it was not a sinus infection and I wouldn't need to go in. Or it would get worse and I would have a leg to stand on about the pain and swelling so they wouldn't send me home or something.
Friday morning I woke up and could tell my face was more swollen. When I tried to look down while changing Wyatt's diaper I could see more of my cheek then I could of Wyatt. LOL I went to the bathroom to look in the mirror and was shocked at what I saw. My entire left cheek was swollen, red and warm to the touch. It looked like some one had clocked me right up side my face. I did my best to bring the swelling down on my own during the day. I tried acetaminophen, ibuprofen, an antihistamine, a cold pack, a warm pack, every thing I could think of. But the swelling just got worse as the day went on. So when Ethan got home from work I decided to go to one of the Fastcare clinics to have it checked out.
The nurse walked me back and we sat down so she could talk to me. She almost fell out of her seat. There was an instant look of concern that was mildly unnerving to be honest. She asked me a bunch of questions and then had me get on the table to examine me. The whole time she kept going back and forth on whether she should give me something or just send me straight tot he ER. She palpated my cheeks (OUCH!) and looked inside my mouth and checked my eyes. The nurse decided that I had a sinus infection that had abscessed into my left cheek. She said thankfully it had abscessed forward into my cheek and not backward into ... well my brain. *shiver* She said the main reason the treat sinus infections is because they can turn into brain abscesses and a brain abscess if bad enough can lead to brain damage. Now she almost had to pick me up off the floor. I just thought I had a nasty sinus infection. No big deal. I had no idea how serious it really could be. Scary stuff!
The nurse gave me a very strong antibiotic. Thankfully it is safe to take while breastfeeding so I won't have to supplement with formula at all and I won't have to pump and dump. She instructed me to take 800mg of ibuprofen along with the antibiotic twice a day for 10 days. The swelling should go down in 24 hours after the first pill. She said I should be feeling much better by Sunday. If the swelling does not go down, if it gets worse, if I have any eye pain, if I have an vision disturbance, if Ethan notices my pupil dilating and not reacting to light or if I become more fatigued and Ethan can't get me out of bed then I need to immediately go to the ER. She said I have a very serious infection and she is very concerned about it getting worse. Brain damage is nothing to take lightly. I obviously agreed with her on that one.
Hopefully the antibiotic will help, the swelling will go down and I will feel better soon. I really had no idea how dangerous a sinus infection could be. Why doesn't any one ever tell you this? I would have gone in much earlier today if I had known that. I am sure every thing will be fine. Fingers crossed that every thing is better soon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)